woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The beer is more important than you right now.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
