is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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