Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
