When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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