Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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