You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
