Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
