she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize