The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize