i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
