I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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