Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
