What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
