I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
