It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
