got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
