he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
