Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
