Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
