Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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