All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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