i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
