i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
