Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
