It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
