If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
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