tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
