she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
