I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Will you blow on my dice?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
