pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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