if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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