think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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