Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
