Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
