just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
