why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
