I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
