This girl is more easily done than said...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
