Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
