weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
