The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
