but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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