Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm like, not good at living.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
