My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
