i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
