You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
