Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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