And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
