hotel room ftw
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize