but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
