You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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