As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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