You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
