It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize