If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize