ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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