Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
