so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
