Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
