Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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