porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize