dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
