He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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