I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
