My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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