i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
