I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
