sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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