Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
