I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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