did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
