I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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